This girl is more easily done than said...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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