Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
