so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
