I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Randomize
