covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There r osticjed everywhere
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize