Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
