1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She needs sedatives and a leash
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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