You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
