Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
