Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
