Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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