i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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