You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
