he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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