well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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