This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
