Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
