We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
