so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
