I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
