North Korea, Best Korea!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm passing your future prison.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
