There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
