You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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