You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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