garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
