2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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