one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
PANTIES FOUND
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