oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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