haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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