You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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