omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
