: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
