i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
