Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
