he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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