I just threw up on my dentist
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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