is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
As shirtless as possible
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
