if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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