dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
