And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
