why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
