so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
