Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
