he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can I color on your dick again?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
