It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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