the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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