I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize