you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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