'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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