I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
