I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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