Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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