Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
