the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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