Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
