69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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