does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
