this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Someone signed my nipple.
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