If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
