YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
