That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
