Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize